Following Her Mother’s Footsteps

A Mother’s Day conversation with Maryland First Lady Katie O’Malley

interview by Sandra Olivetti Martin

Photos by Diana Beechener

Maryland’s first lady will tell you to call her Katie, but if you want to get her title right, it’s Judge O’Malley.

The tall, fit, blond-streaked brunette appreciates her husband’s job as governor, and she thinks he’s the right man for it. As a mother of four commuting every day to her own fulltime job in Baltimore, she also appreciates the help his position gives her: a press secretary, house manager, cook, gardener and driver.

My mom is a great artist. She is very creative, a free spirit, and she always had a career, working out of the house, doing her own thing as an artist. She did what she wanted, and many times she’d say I’m too busy for this or that.

But Katie O’Malley doesn’t take her definition from Martin O’Malley’s job. Nor is she intimidated by it.

She learned all about living with men in power, growing up as one of four children of J. Joseph Curran, Maryland delegate, senator, lieutenant governor and attorney general, the last for 20 years before leaving politics in 2007, the year his son-in-law was elected governor. She’s also granddaughter and double niece of Baltimore City Councilmen.

From her mother, artist Barbara Curran, this first lady learned how to accommodate power, position and public scrutiny — while being her own woman, even while mothering four children.

Catherine Curran O’Malley values independence. So much so that she studied law at night so she could keep her job and keep from “saddling” her parents with more school bills. So much that she worked through four pregnancies and long nights with wakeful babies.

She may be tough — for many of those years, the job she loved was prosecuting criminal cases for the Baltimore County State’s Attorney — but she’s not truculent. Her independence is easy, natural and secure, achieved without detracting from anybody else. She likes the word humble and suggests that “grace under fire” is her ideal.

Our first lady is Judge O’Malley since she was appointed an associate judge of the District Court of Baltimore City, trying the kinds of cases that entangle everyday life: motor vehicle violations, landlord-tenant disputes, all sorts of misdeameanors and civil claims under $5,000.

On the warm evening editor Sandra Martin and staff writer Diana Beechener caught up with her, O’Malley had returned from a day on the bench in time to change into sandals, white slacks and a hot-pink tunic. While we spoke, Lady, a white-muzzled golden retriever, watched the O’Malley’s youngest son, Jack, as he climbed a magnolia tree on the iron-fenced green lawn of Government House.

* * * * *

Bay Weekly — We’re especially glad to talk with you at Mother’s Day since, as First Lady, you play a mother’s role for all of Maryland — not to suggest that you’re old enough to be all our mothers.

Katie O’Malley — Oh, but I am.

Bay Weekly — The role of the first lady is more fascinating than ever as America, indeed the world, watches Michelle Obama redefine it. Did you plan the way you’d play the role of Maryland’s first lady, or did it evolve?

Katie O’Malley — I had no plan. There’s no textbook on how to be a first lady. We’re all different.

What’s so refreshing about Mrs. Obama as first lady is the phenomenal way she reaches out to people, the warmth she exudes as a real person, a real mother.

Bay Weekly — We’re hearing a lot about how the Obamas manage family life. How do the O’Malleys manage to balance personal lives with public demands?

Katie O’Malley — The Obama family sacrifices so much for what the president is doing for the country.

For me, of course there’s the excitement of my husband being governor. I have always believed he was the best person for the job, but he’s working very hard, and not home many nights, trying to do things for Marylanders. That takes a toll on family. Will, my 11-year-old, wants to know where his dad is, so I send him, and Jack, too, over to the Statehouse. But the girls, 17 and 18, are a little more shy, and they want their own dad in their own world.

So you do sacrifice, but for a good cause, and we’re happy to do it and blessed to be in this wonderful house.

I was in my last semester in law school when Grace was born. I was so happy to graduate with my new little baby. I have a favorite picture in my cap and gown, holding her.

Bay Weekly — What have you decided to do with the power the role of first lady gives you?

Katie O’Malley — I don’t know if I’d call it power; I’m a little too humble for that.

I’m serving Marylanders in my capacity as a district court judge at the same time that I’m involved with initiatives that reflect my interests as first lady.

For example, I started working about three years ago on a program to cut truancy, which is a huge problem. So many people I see in my courtroom have not gone through high school. If you can get kids to care about school, they’re less likely to get involved in gangs and drugs.

Through the University of Baltimore, District Court judges spend one day a week with kids in their assigned school, talking with them week after week, to give them incentives to come to school as well as problem-solve on why they’re not: It might be transportation, health, bullying, family issues. We target why they’re not coming to school, then do what we can to fix it. When they succeed, we have a graduation at Government House.

Bay Weekly — In this day when so many mothers are struggling with so many roles, tell us how you juggle your many roles: mother of four, wife, first lady, volunteer — all while holding down a full-time job?

Katie O’Malley — I don’t know!

I have Christine [Hansen, press secretary] and Vickie [Fowley, special assistant] to help me. I get a lot, lot more help as wife of the governor than as wife of mayor. As wife of the mayor, you’re nothing.

I’m still working, and basically I need to. We have four kids, with one daughter, Grace, going to college next year and Tara the following year. We have to come up with college tuition. I also love working.

I focus on where I can help as a judge, and he as governor. We join when it comes to the kids. We don’t always agree — and usually when we don’t, I win.

Six-year-old Jack — full name John Joseph O’Malley, in honor of his grandfather and great-grandfather Curran — runs in, brandishing a lacrosse stick. “He starts lacrosse Friday,” his mother explains.

Bay Weekly — How have you fit working, and school, around having children?

Katie O’Malley — That’s kind of a blur. I was in my last semester in law school when Grace was born. I had her in February, and I had preeclampsia, but she was a great baby.

One of my funniest experiences was finishing a research paper for ethics class three weeks after Grace was born. I had just given birth, and I’d had no sleep. My brother, who was also finishing law school, came over to help me type it. “This is absurd,” he said, and I started to cry. I got a D on that paper, but I got through. I was so happy to graduate with my new little baby. I have a favorite picture in my cap and gown, holding her.

When I started studying for the bar, my boss [in the Baltimore County State’s Attorney’s office] gave me six months job leave to study. I didn’t get paid, but they kept my position. I ended up finding someone to help in the day when I discovered a baby didn’t sleep all day. I took the bar and I passed the first time. The day after, I wasn’t feeling right, and I found I was pregnant with Tara.

So my second-favorite photo shows me going to be enrolled as a new lawyer. I was eight months pregnant and huge, with Grace about 12 months old on my hip.

And they are both beautiful, and they survived.

I took the bar and I passed the first time. The day after, I wasn’t feeling right, and I found I was pregnant with Tara. So my second-favorite photo shows me going to be enrolled as a new lawyer. I was eight months pregnant and huge, with Grace about 12 months old on my hip.

Bay Weekly — Nowadays, what special times do you keep for your children?

Katie O’Malley — Usually evenings. They’re in school all day, and I’m working. That’s why I’m guarded about evenings and weekends.

Most days we drive in to Baltimore together in the morning with the [state] trooper. We bought the girls a car. About once a week, I let them drive, so they can have a social life in Baltimore.

Bay Weekly — How about you and your husband: Does his being governor — on top of family and your job — make him a hard man to get a date with?

Katie O’Malley — He really seeks dates. He might say, “How about you and I run down to Main Street and grab sushi somewhere?” We love to go to Joss on Main Street. Sometimes we get a weekend together, and two years ago, we got a whole week.

Bay Weekly — If you manage to find a bit of time for yourself, how do you like to spend it?

Katie O’Malley — Alone.

Bay Weekly — Did you go to law school at the University of Baltimore at night because you were a working student? Were your classmates women and men with jobs and families as well as school?

Katie O’Malley — I had only been out of college three years, and I had been living on my own. I wanted to keep my job, working at a bank as a securities dealer, and I certainly was not going to saddle my parents with my law school education. So not many classmates were my same age; a lot were older people, my age now, having second careers. It was a great school.

My brother and husband went to law school in the daytime. “You’re all wimps,” I told them. But I would advise my children to go to day school and focus. It’s tough to please your employer and professors, and you want to be perfect. I always felt stretched.

Bay Weekly — Then you became a trial lawyer, a prosecutor, with the Baltimore County State’s Attorney?

Katie O’Malley — I went to work as a law clerk for them right after law school. Friends had told me I should try to get a job in a prosecutor’s office. Baltimore City didn’t hire me. The county did right away, the day after I applied. I loved that office; they were the best lawyers I’ve ever worked with.

Bay Weekly — Confrontation is an issue with many women. Has it been with you?

Katie O’Malley — Grace under fire. You don’t have to be confrontational as a prosecutor. Some of the best are some of the most humble people. They know their case, they’re confident, they can articulate the evidence.

Early on, seasoned defense attorneys prey on you; then they come to learn that you know what you’re talking about and are truthful. Credibility is a huge part of it. You build up a nice reputation, and you don’t have to be confrontational even if you’re going to be opposing.

Bay Weekly — Do trial lawyers keep statistics like baseball players?

Katie O’Malley — No, never. Especially in the prosecutor’s office, because your job is to do justice, not just to prosecute.

Bay Weekly — As judge and prosecutor, you must have seen much of life’s hard side, and you’ve probably heard most of life’s excuses. How does that experience play at home? Do your jobs make you a tough mother?

Katie O’Malley — A very worried mother, as anybody who watches the news should be. I also have two kids driving. I know there is evil out there, and mental illness. Instead of making your kids paranoid and not letting them go anywhere — though I’d cave in with my kids anyway — you want to give them skills. Talk to them is all you can do, and teach them to be able to sense danger and what not to trust.

Bay Weekly — How were the roles of mother and father defined in your own family?

Katie O’Malley — My dad has been in politics throughout his life, and my mom is a great artist, a portrait painter. My father never made her a political wife. She is very creative, a free spirit, and she always had a career, working out of the house, doing her own thing as an artist. She did what she wanted, and many times she’d say I’m too busy for this or that.

But she also helped him a great deal by being a wonderful, beautiful force. And we knew what was expected of us with my dad in politics. A lot of things can tempt you, my mother would say, but you know your father’s job, and you don’t want to embarrass him. [Any trouble] would be a lot rougher on him — and a lot rougher on you.

My brother and sisters and I knew we could be whatever we wanted to be, and they’d help.

So many political wives are engulfed in what their husband’s doing. That’s not me. That’s why I’m grateful I have my job.

Bay Weekly — Did you consider becoming a politician?

Katie O’Malley — No. I mentally enjoyed being in the courtroom as a prosecutor, and that’s why I was interested in being a judge.

Bay Weekly — You’re a Baltimorian, and you still commute to work in the city. How do you like living in Annapolis?

Katie O’Malley — It’s a wonderful city, beautiful, and the people very nice.

So many political wives are engulfed in what their husband’s doing. That’s not me. That’s why I’m grateful I have my job.

Bay Weekly — Do you and your family spend any time on Chesapeake Bay?

Katie O’Malley — We do. A friend invites us out on his boat, and we’ve been out on the Chesapeake Bay Foundation’s skipjack. I wish so many times the prior governor had not sold the state yacht [Independence was auctioned on eBay] because the Bay is such a beautiful asset, and a boat is a great way to show it off.

Bay Weekly — What are you doing for Mother’s Day?

Katie O’Malley — I’m going to Russia. The State Department does a yearly exchange between attorneys there and in Maryland and on the East Coast. So I’ll be in St. Petersburg in an exchange of ideas on how we can approach domestic violence in both countries.