Vol. 10, No. 46

November 14-20, 2002

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Ten Reasons to Keep an Eye on Those Republicans

10. 74.7 percent in party think GOP stands for God’s Own People.

9. Talks begun toward leasing entire Chesapeake Bay to developers for humongous water park to be called Ronald Reagan Splash-Arama.

8. Gov. Glendening under house arrest; Lt. Gov. Townsend in exile in Argentina.

7. Gov.-elect Ehrlich lends personal touch to transition team: Adds seven lawyers; three accountants; two linebackers and a 350-pound tackle known only as “Meat.”

6. New statue at Statehouse to have just one name: Spiro.

5. State lawyers’ new assignment: Help Lt. Gov.-elect Michael Steele’s sister in divorce proceedings with heavyweight ‘Iron’ Mike Tyson (carefully).

4. “Diverse” new cabinet to include representatives from: right-wing; Christian Coalition; National Rifle Association; Eagle Forum; OSS.

3. Proposed DNR name change to Department of Negotiable Resources.

2. In new welfare-to-work program, Democratic politicians handed squeegees for window assignments at GOP headquarters in Annapolis.

1. Proposed new state motto: No Stinking Taxes Whatsoever.

Copyright 2002
Bay Weekly