Not Just for Kids
Vol. 9, No.39
September 27 - October 3, 2001
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The How-To Cowboy™
Secret, Magic How-To Fun Tricks
Slam books are a girl thing. But boys, as you know, anything girls do. You’d better pay attention.

How to Start a Slam Book Craze

1. So, girls, obtain an inexpensive notebook, and write your name on the cover
— it’s your slam book!

2. Write the names of all the boys in your class in the book, one per page.

3. Below each boy’s name, write a pertinent comment, pithy or otherwise. Make it sweet. Make it honest. Make it nice … but that’s not always possible. Hey, why do you think they call them slam books?

4. Give the book to a girlfriend. Tell her to jot down her remarks below each boy’s name, then pass your book to another girl, who should do the same.

5. Now, this is key, the contents of the slam book are Top Secret. No one should sign their name below their entry. No one should reveal the contents. Wink! Wink!

6. In time, with dozens of entries on each boy, no one will know who said what about whom. It’ll be a big guessing game. Hee! Hee!

7. Write “Do Not Share With Boys!” on the back of your slam book. Wink! Wink! Hee! Hee!

8. To spruce up your slam book, devote a page to the following topics: favorite color, toothpaste, snack food, boy singer, girl singer, rock band, movie, TV show, teacher, car, restaurant, whatever. Be creative.

9. When other girls hand you their books, reciprocate. Add your views on boys and favorite things, and pass the book to another girl. And, remember, slam books are all in FUN!

10. And if anyone objects for whatever reason, well, you know what to say about them in yor slam book. Hee! Hee!

Take on the How-To Ranch Hand Challenge:
Send a unique How-To trick to IM Press, Box 5346, Takoma Park, MD 20913 with step-by-step instructions and, If accepted, you will see your trick published in this space, and receive a LITTLE NED STORIES book and a $10 check.

Visit The How-To Cowboy, aka Edward Allan Faine at his website:

Old Glory:
How to Fly the Flag

Don’t wear it as an outfit or let it touch the ground,

Yet if you are in distress you can fly it upside down.

And never tote things in it, nor stain it with food or drink.

Because the flag patrol might be closer than you think.

If we employ proper decorum when displaying that old friend

She will mend our eyes and hearts as she waves proudly in the wind.

So symbolic is Old Glory, dignified is how we stand

In allegiance to an emblem that is known throughout the land.

— Nadine Word

Kids’ Calendar

Old Clothes for Scarecrows - Cleaning out your closet to make room for new school clothes? Donate your old jeans and shirts, pantyhose and stockings, and any old thing cluttering up your drawers to Kinder Farm Park. Then visit their Fall Harvest Festival on October 13 and join the scarecrow-making workshop. Kinder Farm Park, Millersville: 410/222-6115.

Flumpa Lives! - Fri, Sept. 28 (12pm & 6pm)–At the Calvert County Fair, join Flumpa, the six-foot swinging tree frog and his friend, singing scientist and storyteller Wendy Whitten, in a reptilian romp that will get you singing, dancing and cheering. Calvert County Fair, Barstow: 410/535-0026.

Catchers of Dreams - Sat, Sept. 29 (2:30-3:30pm)–Are you arachnophobic, or do you think spiders are cool? This time of year, it’s hard to walk through woods without running into spider webs. Take a closer look at these eight-leggers on a walk. End by trying your hand at web making as you weave a dream catcher. Battle Creek Cypress Swamp, Prince Frederick. $3 w/discounts. rsvp: 410/535-5327.

Possum’s Harvest Moon - Wed, Oct. 3 (10-11am)–Celebrate the Harvest Moon! See what plants have to harvest and how animals might use the harvest. Read a story, go for a walk and end with a “harvest” snack. Battle Creek Cypress Swamp, Prince Frederick. $3 w/discounts. rsvp: 410/535-5327.

You can meet the How-To Cowboy™ October 7 at the West Annapolis Oktoberfest!

Copyright 2001
Bay Weekly