T’was the night before Christmas and all through the yard
The branches were bare and the ground frozen hard.
The roses were dormant and mulched all around;
To protect them from damage if frost heaves the ground.
The perennials were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of compost danced in their heads.
The new-planted shrubs had been soaked by the hose
To settle their roots for the long winter’s doze.
And out on the lawn, the new fallen snow
Protected the roots of the grasses below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a truck full of gifts, and all gardening gear.
Saint Nick was the driver — the jolly old elf —
And he winked as he said, “I’m a gardener myself.
I’ve brought Wilt-Pruf, Rootone and gibberellin, too —
Father can try them and see what they do.
To help with the weeding I’ve brought a Weed-Bandit
And to battle the bugs a floating blanket.
To seed your new lawn, I’ve a patented sower.
In case it should grow, here’s a new power mower.
For seed-planting days, I’ve a trowel and a dibble
And a role of mesh wire if the rabbits should nibble.
For the feminine gardener, some gadgets she loves
Plant stakes, a sprinkler and waterproof gloves.
A fungus agent for her compost pit
And for pH detecting, a soil-testing kit.
With these colorful flagstones, lay a new garden path
For the kids to enjoy, a bird feeder and bath.
And last but not least, some well-rotted manure.
A green Christmas year round these gifts will ensure.”
Then jolly St. Nick, having emptied his load,
Started his truck and took to the road.
And I heard him exclaim through the motor’s loud hum;
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a green thumb.”
–An anonymous gardener’s take on Clement Clarke Moore’s 1823 classic