Humor http://bayweekly.com/articles/feed/features/humor en Keeping Your Head Clean http://bayweekly.com/articles/boating/article/keeping-your-head-clean <div class="field field-type-text field-field-tagline-teaser"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <p><em><strong>Can&rsquo;t get your boat to a pump-out station? One will come to you</strong></em></p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-article-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <div class="field-label-inline-first"> Article Author:&nbsp;</div> Leigh Glenn </div> </div> </div> <p>If you spend much time on your boat, it&rsquo;s probably got a head. What you put into the head can&rsquo;t go into the Bay. It&rsquo;s against the law to pump effluent into the Bay or its tributaries or within three miles of the U.S. coastline.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-weekly-featured-article"> <div class="field-label">Weekly Featured Article:&nbsp;</div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> No </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-attached-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/articles/boating/article/keeping-your-head-clean" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser imagecache-linked imagecache-lead-image-teaser_linked"><img src="http://bayweekly.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/lead-image-teaser/images/slider-tab-thumbs/pump_out_sign-043015.jpg" alt="" title="" width="100" height="71" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser"/></a> </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://bayweekly.com/articles/boating/article/keeping-your-head-clean" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://bayweekly.com/articles/boating/article/keeping-your-head-clean#comments Boating Green Living Humor People Thu, 30 Apr 2015 15:55:35 +0000 bayweekly_master 27718 at http://bayweekly.com O Christmas Tree … Oh, Christmas Tree! http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/o-christmas-tree-%E2%80%A6-oh-christmas-tree <div class="field field-type-text field-field-tagline-teaser"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <p><em><strong>Fresh from the woods, we dug up more than we bargained for</strong></em></p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-article-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <div class="field-label-inline-first"> Article Author:&nbsp;</div> Dominic Laiti Jr. </div> </div> </div> <p>The family agreed. This shapely 10-foot Norway spruce with beautifully spaced branches was our perfect Christmas tree. After Christmas, the living tree would find a new home in a corner of our half-acre lot.<br /> &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;But this was an out-of-the-way farm, and the tree digger was unavailable. So we would have to wait a few days before we could take The Tree home.<br /> &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;No problem. Christmas was four weeks away.<br /> &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;The next week it rained. &ldquo;When are we going to get our tree?&rdquo; our 10-year-old son wailed.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-weekly-featured-article"> <div class="field-label">Weekly Featured Article:&nbsp;</div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> No </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-attached-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/articles/humor/article/o-christmas-tree-%E2%80%A6-oh-christmas-tree" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser imagecache-linked imagecache-lead-image-teaser_linked"><img src="http://bayweekly.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/lead-image-teaser/images/slider-tab-thumbs/kids-pulling-christmas-tree.jpg" alt="" title="" width="100" height="63" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser"/></a> </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/o-christmas-tree-%E2%80%A6-oh-christmas-tree" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/o-christmas-tree-%E2%80%A6-oh-christmas-tree#comments Humor Thu, 18 Dec 2014 15:35:51 +0000 bayweekly_master 25287 at http://bayweekly.com What’s Going Where? http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/what%E2%80%99s-going-where <div class="field field-type-text field-field-tagline-teaser"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <p><em><strong>It&rsquo;s all online in Calvert County</strong></em></p> </div> </div> </div> <p>In old-fashioned walk-around communities, construction projects were everybody&rsquo;s business. In these times of zipping past in cars, who knows what&rsquo;s going and coming?<br /> &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;In Calvert County, you can find out online. What&rsquo;s Going Where lets you track commercial projects county wide. You can search by postal Zip Code or review a list of projects completed in the last 12 months.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-weekly-featured-article"> <div class="field-label">Weekly Featured Article:&nbsp;</div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> No </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-attached-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/articles/humor/article/what%E2%80%99s-going-where" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser imagecache-linked imagecache-lead-image-teaser_linked"><img src="http://bayweekly.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/lead-image-teaser/images/slider-tab-thumbs/historichtml5_thumbnail_200x120.jpg" alt="" title="" width="100" height="60" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser"/></a> </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/what%E2%80%99s-going-where" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/what%E2%80%99s-going-where#comments Humor Places Thu, 11 Dec 2014 20:44:21 +0000 bayweekly_master 25186 at http://bayweekly.com “That’s Not My Dog” http://bayweekly.com/articles/creature-feature/article/%E2%80%9Cthat%E2%80%99s-not-my-dog%E2%80%9D <div class="field field-type-text field-field-tagline-teaser"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <p><em><strong>Chew on these tales of bad behavior before you add a new member to your family</strong></em></p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-article-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <div class="field-label-inline-first"> Article Author:&nbsp;</div> Sandra Olivetti Martin </div> </div> </div> <p><span style="color:#2f4f4f;"><strong>Through the beveled glass oval of the front door</strong></span>, I could see trouble. My friend and hair-stylist Kathy Burns&rsquo; brother was not making a social call. His khaki uniform meant he had come on official business. Dogcatcher business.<br /> &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;The dog in question, Slip Mahoney, wasn&rsquo;t home. Wherever he was, he had stirred up enough commotion to bring out the dogcatcher.<br /> &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&ldquo;He escaped,&rdquo; I said, holding up my hands in helplessness.</p> <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-attached-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/articles/creature-feature/article/%E2%80%9Cthat%E2%80%99s-not-my-dog%E2%80%9D" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser imagecache-linked imagecache-lead-image-teaser_linked"><img src="http://bayweekly.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/lead-image-teaser/images/slider-tab-thumbs/slip_mahoney_1.jpg" alt="" title="" width="100" height="106" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser"/></a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-image-caption"> <div class="field-label">Image Caption:&nbsp;</div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> The infamous Slip Mahoney. </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://bayweekly.com/articles/creature-feature/article/%E2%80%9Cthat%E2%80%99s-not-my-dog%E2%80%9D" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://bayweekly.com/articles/creature-feature/article/%E2%80%9Cthat%E2%80%99s-not-my-dog%E2%80%9D#comments Creature Feature Good Living Humor Thu, 22 Aug 2013 16:45:06 +0000 bayweekly_master 18404 at http://bayweekly.com Workshop of the Dead http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/workshop-dead <div class="field field-type-text field-field-tagline-teaser"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <p><em><strong>How I learned to defend against zombies</strong></em></p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-article-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <div class="field-label-inline-first"> Article Author:&nbsp;</div> Jesse Furgurson </div> </div> </div> <p><span style="color:#2f4f4f;"><strong>I can&rsquo;t claim to be unfamiliar with the living dead</strong></span>. I logged enough hours watching zombie movies as a kid that I could have received a PhD in zombiology from the George A. Romero School for the Aaaaaarghts.<br /> &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;However, I suspect in the event of an actual zombie outbreak I would get eaten pretty quickly. In a zombie movie, I would be the type of character who might not get eaten first but who will get eaten before the end credits.</p> <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-attached-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/articles/humor/article/workshop-dead" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser imagecache-linked imagecache-lead-image-teaser_linked"><img src="http://bayweekly.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/lead-image-teaser/images/slider-tab-thumbs/zombies-class.jpg" alt="" title="" width="100" height="68" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser"/></a> </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/workshop-dead" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/workshop-dead#comments Humor Thu, 02 Aug 2012 16:45:23 +0000 bayweekly_moderator 12611 at http://bayweekly.com Feathers Flyin' http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/feathers-flyin <div class="field field-type-text field-field-tagline-teaser"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <p>Duck would never again be as fun as the tough, skinny, buckshot-riddled birds Mom and I cooked</p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-article-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <div class="field-label-inline-first"> Article Author:&nbsp;</div> Roberta Safer </div> </div> </div> <p><span style="color: rgb(47, 79, 79);"><em><strong>&ldquo;Mrs. Safer, Do you like ducks?&rdquo;</strong></em></span> my adorable third-grade student asked as class was dismissed on a November Friday in 1962.<br /> &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&ldquo;Oh, yes,&rdquo; I replied, recalling my many hours spent feeding the ducks and geese and riding the swan boats in Boston Common where I had grown up.<br /> &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&ldquo;I mean to eat,&rdquo; she said, as if she had read my mind. &ldquo;My dad is going hunting, and I could bring you some for dinner.&rdquo;</p> <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-attached-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/articles/humor/article/feathers-flyin" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser imagecache-linked imagecache-lead-image-teaser_linked"><img src="http://bayweekly.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/lead-image-teaser/images/slider-tab-thumbs/duck-pluckin.jpg" alt="" title="" width="100" height="72" class="imagecache imagecache-lead-image-teaser"/></a> </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/feathers-flyin" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://bayweekly.com/articles/humor/article/feathers-flyin#comments Humor Sun, 20 Nov 2011 20:13:53 +0000 bayweekly_moderator 8875 at http://bayweekly.com