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Plenty of solid hits light up nine innings

     Colonial Players’ One-Act Play Festival has been a biyearly summer event since 1999. This year’s installment, THIS AND THAT, presents nine plays across two slates, THIS and THAT, running on alternating dates. The Festival is an occasion for novice directors, production staff and actors to produce known and unknown works under the tutelage of seasoned mentors. Thus, such talents as Rick Wade, past Colonial  Players president and author of the company’s classic A Christmas Carol, appear alongside theater newbies or actors who are cutting their directorial teeth.
    This year’s directors, in the order their shows are listed, include Dave Carter, Timothy Sayles, Rebecca Feibel, Robin Schwartz, Cseni Szabo, Scott Nichols, Dave Walter, Mark T. Allen and Lelia TahaBurt. Their stories range from comedy to tragedy, yet a theme in all but one is that things are not as they seem.

THIS, playing July 25 and 27
     Jerry Casagrande’s Among Shrubs and Ivy, which debuted in 2011 at Silver Spring Stage, follows John (Robert Eversberg) through a decade of vacations at a seaside campground owned by crusty Korean War vet Frank (Martin Hayes). With few but powerful words, they bond over their shared love of the property, their families and the value of continuity in a changing world. With Laurel Kenney, Gregory Anderson and Chloe Kubit.
    Me and My Shadow is a riotous look at duplicity when two classmates reunite with inner voices in-tow, speaking unspeakable thoughts. Playwright Rich Orloff’s forthright comedy follows an insecure writer, Susanne (Bernadette Arvidson), and her Super Ego, Susie (Rosalie Daelemans), to a luncheon with Susanne’s successful publisher friend Jacqueline (Kathryn Huston), and her Id, Jacquie (Peggy Friedman). Even the waitress, Andrea (Laurel Kenney), is funny as Andi (Kubit) expresses her candid thoughts about her customers.
    Sure Thing by David Ives is a take on the dating game reminiscent of Groundhog Day. Bill (Brandon Bentley) and Betty (Sarah Smith) grapple with pick-up lines and small talk, rejecting each other’s overtures with a game show buzzer until they stumble on the right formula for starting a relationship.
    James H. Wise’s comedy Mugger in the Park, voted an Audience Favorite at last year’s Watermelon One-Act Festival in Leonardtown, continues to delight with Kathryn Huston’s portrayal of Selma, the stereotypical little old lady who is stuck up by a thug (Jason Vaughan). Selma prevails with her retinue of complaints, kvetching and clever one-upsmanship. Martin Hayes and Robert Eversberg play Selma’s husband and a second thug.
    In Tough Cookies, by Brett Hursey, a date fizzles when the waiter (Jason Vaughan) can’t supply an entitled jerk, Chaz (Brandon Bentley), with a fortune cookie worthy of its name, while his date, Roxanne (Kenney), racks up paper compliments and blessings.

THAT, playing July 24 and 26
     Queen of the Northern Monkeys, by Jason Vaughan, presents a snippet of life from the 1957 Roman holiday of Danish Baroness Karen Blixen (Carol Cohen), aka Isak Dineson, who wrote the memoir Out of Africa. This lovely episode of her life, exploring her friendship with American literary titan Eugene Walter (Kevin Wallace) and her secretary Clara (Erica Jureckson), feels more like an excerpt from a larger work than a complete work in itself.
    Jeff Stolzer’s award-winning satire Emergency Room pokes fun at the broken healthcare system, pitting a patient (Kim Ethridge) against a corrupt hospital where the doctor and billing clerk (both played by Erica Jureckson) and security guard (Richard Atha-Nicholls) conspire to keep her captive. The exaggerated premise would be funnier if not for the frustration and sick humor.
    Rick Wade’s Foxgloves is a smart intrigue that takes place at an airport bar where widower Dennis (Danny Brooks) and his traveling companion Jerry (Atha-Nicholls) discover how much they have in common. Bernadette Arvidson plays the sympathetic waitress.
    Alien Love Triangle, by Katherine Glover, is a hilarious sci-fi thriller starring Richard Atha-Nicholls and Erica Jureckson as two astronauts studying life and finding love with K’Sh, an amoeba-like creature with three heads (Kubit, Sam Morton and Brooke Penne). 
    Some productions are more polished than others, but each slate offers at least a couple solid wins. It’s summer fun for sultry nights with a seed of surprise.


This and That: One Act Play Festival. Stage Manager: Ernie Morton. Sound: Brittany Rankin and Richard Atha-Nicholls. Lights: Eric Gasior and Shirley Panek. Costumes: Hannah Sturm and Kaelynn Miller. Set: Lyana Morton and Edd Miller.

Playing thru July 27, Th thru Sa at 8pm and Su at 2 at Colonial Players, 108 East St. Annapolis. $10 per slate or $15 for both; rsvp: 410-268-7373; thecolonialplayers.org.
 

Is privacy possible in the Facebook Age?

     Jay (Jason Segel: How I Met Your Mother) and Annie (Cameron Diaz: The Other Woman) were insatiable. Their voracious sex life led to an unplanned pregnancy and marriage. Over a decade later, Jay and Annie still love each other, and they are flourishing professionally and personally, but their sex life has gone belly-up. Though both miss the intimacy, they can’t seem to find time for each other.
    Jay, who works at a radio station, has a complicated musical filing system that requires two iPads. For some reason, it also requires him to purchase new iPads every few months. He distributes his old ones to friends, family and occasionally business associates.
    Writer Annie’s popular blog on ­motherhood has attracted the attention of a huge corporation. They’d like her to be the face of their mommy blog, as long as she promises to keep the material wholesome. Thrilled at a chance to advance her career, which has stalled since the kids arrived, she plans to celebrate with a wild night of passion.
    Alas, Jay and Annie are no longer in synch. Things get awkward until Annie has a brilliant idea: Use Jay’s iPad to make a sex tape and spice up their DOA sex lives.
    Apparently, a camera lens is all you need to fix your marital ennui; the sex tape works like a charm. Happy to have reignited the spark, Annie tells Jay to delete the recording from the iPad. In post-coital bliss, Jay forgets and synchs his iPad to his computer. Now, thanks to the cloud and carelessness, Jay and Annie’s X-rated romp has been loaded onto all the iPads that Jay has given away.
    Can the couple retrieve them before their reputations are ruined? Or should they film a sequel?
    Rude, raunchy and ridiculous, Sex Tape is funny in spite of its plot. The misplaced sex tape has been done in sitcoms over the years, so the concept of a suburban couple terrified that their friends and family will find out that they have sex isn’t a new one. Still, the ease with which information is shared in the digital age could offer up some interesting problems for Annie and Jay.
    Director Jake Kasdan (Bad Teacher) isn’t interested in the implications of our media-obsessed culture. His interest is having Diaz flail and make funny faces while Segel flops from pratfall to pratfall. Nor is the crisis believable given what we know about the characters. It seems improbable that a guy who has cycled through at least six iPads in a year knows almost nothing about the cloud, which Segel’s Jay seems to think is a magical entity. There’s also a way to erase data remotely from synched iPads, but Segel and Diaz are too busy panicking to call tech support.
    Lazy plotting and lazier character development make Sex Tape a substandard film. That doesn’t mean it isn’t funny. Kasdan has stacked the deck with so many weird situations and outrageous lines that you’ll find something funny. Diaz and Segel are veteran comedians who can land a punch line out of sheer will. They are aided by supporting players who wring laughs out of the meager script. Rob Lowe, in particular, does some weird and wonderful work as Diaz’s seemingly conservative boss.
    Watching the movie is a bit like coming across your neighbor’s sex tape: You know you shouldn’t watch it and it probably won’t be that well-made, but that won’t necessarily stop you.

Fair Comedy • R • 94 mins.

Part 2: How to supply nutrients organically

     In organic gardening, all nutrients are supplied through the process of mineralization. As organic matter is decomposed by the microorganisms that digest the cellulose and hemi-cellulose, minerals contained within the cells of the animal or plant tissues are released into the soil. After the microorganisms have digested all digestible cells, they die. Since their bodies consist mostly of proteins, the proteins are broken down by enzymes, releasing more nutrients, mostly nitrogen (N), into the soil. 
    The rate of mineralization is dependent on temperatures in the soil.
    Under laboratory conditions, mineralization rates are measured at room temperature, 72 degrees. Moist soil samples are held in temperature-controlled containers for several days, then the amount of available nitrogen in the soil is measured. This process is repeated until the figures are stable. Mineralization rates are faster at temperatures above room temperature and significantly slower at temperatures below room temperature. At 72 degrees, the mineralization of compost is between eight and 10 percent. Mineralization of organic matter stops when soil temperatures approach the freezing point.
    The rate of mineralization has a major effect on plant growth.
    Because soils are cooler in the early spring, the rate of growth is often reduced for early spring crops such as peas, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, lettuce and spinach. Cooler soils mean fewer nutrients becoming available. This problem can be minimized by selecting south-facing slopes for early spring and late fall crops. Planting the crops on ridges is another method of encouraging early warming of soils. A soil raised above a natural grade warms faster than a soil that is level on grade. Covering the area to be planted with a sheet of clear polyethylene several weeks before planting, followed by ridging and covering the ridges with black plastic mulch, is labor intensive but will stimulate early mineralization. Soils warm very rapidly under clear plastic due to the greenhouse effect. However, anticipate early growth of spring weeds, requiring light cultivation or spraying with horticultural vinegar. Ridging and mulching with black plastic will also provide weed control.
    Apply no more than four cubic yards of compost or animal manure per 1,000 square feet in any one year. Five percent is one year’s limit for organic matter added to the soil. Excessive applications of either can stimulate excessive vegetative growth and weak spindly plants. With the mineralization rate eight to 10 percent, 90 to 92 percent of the minerals remain in the soil’s organic matter. So repeated applications of compost and organic matter should be based on soil test results.
    If existing soils contain less than three percent organic matter, an initial application of four cubic yards of compost or animal manure the first year followed by repeated applications at two cubic yards in successive years (or on alternate years for sandy soils) can be adequate. In silt or clay loam soils, these levels may be excessive, requiring greater dependency on soil test results.
    Initially, compost or animal manure should be incorporated to a depth of six to eight inches, deeper if possible. Because organic matter reduces the bulk density of soils, deep incorporation promotes deep rooting, making crops more tolerant to drought. As deep incorporation of organic matter promotes deep rooting, the roots that penetrate this region will continue to maintain the organic matter concentration in that region.
    Repeated applications of compost or animal manure should be incorporated only in the upper three inches of soil. This results in concentrating the nutrients in the region where seed germination occurs and where roots of new transplants initiate growth. Leaching will move nutrients deeper into the soil as the growing season progresses.

When fishing is good it is very good; When it is bad, it’s still pretty good

     I’ve suddenly run into a problem I haven’t had in quite some time. I’m having the devil’s own time catching good rockfish. During the long lulls between bites, an explanation has emerged for my difficulties and disappointments.
    I blame it all on last season. Last season was phenomenal. Big fish in quantities rarely seen around the mid-Bay remained all the way through the year. I could rise at 9am, get on the water by 10am and most always have my limit of 10-pounders by noon.
    Last year, the chum bite was astoundingly effective until late June, when live-lining took over and was even better. This year is developing much differently. The schools of big fish that settled all around the mid-Bay are gone.
    Chumming is already dropping off. Live-lining has not developed, what with the dearth of small spot and rockfish being both scarcer and more finicky.
    My attempts to find them where I did last season have wasted a lot of fishing time. Likewise, my insistence on behaving as if they would eventually show up has led more poor performances than I would like to admit.
    Sticking to my schedule of rising late and still expecting to find good fish is proving to be another major error. The summertime heat is apparently shutting down the bite after 10am. My unreasonable expectations (again, based on last season) are causing me unnecessary emotional trauma.
    A smaller quantity of rockfish and the many anglers searching for them means that to be successful one must achieve ideal conditions, fishing better times of day and night plus making it a priority to find where the fish are located. Wait for them to come to you, and they most likely won’t.
    The few rockfish frequenting last year’s traditional locations do not remain long once discovered. Avoid areas of high fishing pressure to get fish in the box.
    In other areas that have proven productive in the past, stripers gather during the dark, quiet hours to feed but flee as soon as the sun rises or boats arrive. Being the first to fish any particular structure or holding area counts.
    To catch fish consistently this year, you’ll want to start very early or very late. I’m talking about being on the water nearer 5am or starting at sundown and fishing into the night. You will encounter more fish at these times, and when you do find them they are much more likely to take your bait or lure.
    If you’re fishing structure by casting or drifting baits, sound discipline is critical, especially in shallow water. Consider electric power or turning off your engine while working an area. Another good tactic is to sit quietly and do nothing for a good five minutes after arriving at the location you intend to fish. You’ll be surprised at the results.
    Fewer fish are in residence this year. The stripers that are here are under heavy pressure, spooked and uncooperative. Anglers will have to be at the top of their game and using every trick in their arsenal when pursuing them.
    On the Chesapeake, when fishing is good it is very, very good, and when it is bad, it’s still pretty good.

How far are you removed from the necessity — and pleasure — of eating local?

    Is Buy Local Week preaching to the choir?    
    If local foods are already a mainstay of your diet, you don’t need persuasion — though a chance for a basket of local goodies and free ice cream in Western Maryland might lure you to post your locavore photos at www.buy-local-challenge.com.
    If your corn comes out of a can, your potatoes out of a box, your year-round apples from who-knows-where and your burgers from anyplace, then what difference does this little-advertised promotion make to you?
    Fast foods taste good. A whole lot of science, consumer testing and marketing goes into the satisfaction quotient of burgers, sodas and fries.
    Convenience feels good. After shucking a dozen ears of corn — especially if I’m then going to cut off the kernels — I can understand why women welcomed first canned and then frozen corn. Me, I feel shucked out after one meal. They prepared three a day, often for big hungry families who’d been working their bodies for necessity rather than exercise. If they were country women, they had almost certainly planted, nourished, weeded and harvested the garden, with their children working alongside.
    The labor of providing plenty was a Genesis story in my maternal Italian family’s immigrant life. Braided onions and garlic hung in the barn rafters, bread baked for the table, wine and wine vinegar worked in wooden barrels. A few pennies worth of meat was a luxury.
    “We were never hungry after we got a cow,” mother told me. From the milk, her mother made cheese and butter. Born in 1921 weeks after her family’s arrival to Southern Illinois, my mother found life’s meaning in hard work. But standing in for her mother, Catherine Olivetti, during a few days hospitalization reduced the vigorous 20-year-old to tears. “I’ve never worked harder in my life,” she told me.
    How many generations are you removed from the necessity and pleasure of eating local? How far have you reverted?
    Does the taste of place make a difference to you? That’s what we’re hoping to recognize when we make a big deal of where our food comes from. Can you taste the locality of the tomatoes now ripening in our gardens? The eggs laid by chickens down the street? The corn, squash and beans grown in our own counties and brought to market by the farmers who planted and tended them to maturity? The beef and lamb raised on local grass or the pork and chicken fortified on table scraps?
    How do you calculate the balance of convenience versus fresh and local?
    Each one of us has our own scale.
    “Back then we had gardens; now we have Whole Foods,” Annapolitan septuagenarian Elizabeth Smith chided youngster Andrew Wildermuth in this week’s In Their Own Words.
    In July, I harvest tomatoes and cucumbers planted by my husband, often slicing them with onions he’s raised. This year’s crop of garlic will last a whole year, though my grandmother’s braiding skill is a lost art. For most else that rises from earth, I shop farmers markets.
    Mid-winter, I’ll certainly shop at Whole Foods, without so many scruples about what’s local. But I’ll want my oysters from Chesapeake Bay just as my crab was in summer.
    All year long I’ll gladly buy avocado, bananas and lemons, cheese and yogurt and spices, hoping I remember to be grateful for my diet’s world-round reach. We’ll order our coffee from Peets, olive oil from California and grapefruit and oranges from Florida.
    The food we eat tells our human story, the necessity and choices of generations, including our own. Eating local, I like to think, is taking a bite out of history. It’s a bigger lesson than you can manage in a week.

Have fun even with a sizzling sun

1. Breezy Bay Fun: You can catch a crisp breeze on the water. Climb aboard The Tennison for a Historic Sunset Cruise out of Solomons July 19, Aug. 9 and Sept. 6 or the skipjack Dee of St. Mary’s July 26, Aug. 23 and Sept. 13 (www.calvertmarinemuseum.com). Lift a glass at the Wine in the Wind cruise out of Annapolis Aug. 24 (www.schoonerwoodwind.com).

2. Make Your Own Slip and Slide: You need a grassy surface (hills are the best), a hose and a tarp (www.tinyurl.com/kj55thb/). Attach pool noodles to the sides to contain the water and people and use soap to make the slide slipperier. Make a sprinkler by attaching a hose to a two-litter bottle with holes.

3. Become One with the Water: Learn to paddle board, which works every part of your body. Schedule a lesson with Stand Up Paddle Annapolis or rent a board on your own (www.supannapolis.com).
    Or take a seat for Kayak the Patuxent at Jug Bay on July 20 (www.aacounty.org/recparks). Explore the Chesapeake on Aug. 8 at Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum in St. Michael’s (www.cbmm.org). Join in the Marsh Ecology Paddle Aug. 3 at Jug Bay (www.jugbay.org). Glide on Parkers Creek Aug. 9 (www.acltweb.org). Light up the night on a Full Moon Paddle Aug. 10 (annapolisboating.org).

4. Mid-summer Movies: Enjoy free movies on the beach at North Beach July 19 and Aug. 16 (www.northbeachmd.org). Go into the cool at Bow Tie Cinemas for the Kids Summer Film Series on Tuesdays and Wednesdays through Aug. 20 (www.bowtiecinemas.com/programs/kids-club/). For any movie showing at Bow Tie Cinemas, you can save with Super Tuesday deals: $6 tickets all day and $5 large tubs of popcorn (www.bowtie
cinemas.com/programs/super-tuesday/).

5. Skate away from the Sun: Escape the heat on skates. Cool down at the City of Bowie Ice Arena during a public skating sessions or sign up the kids for a summer camp (www.cityofbowie.org/icearena). Roller skate at Skate Zone in Crofton with deals on public skates every day (www.sk8zone.com).

Our flowering gardens are butterfly way-stations

     The butterflies nectaring around your garden took wing from the caterpillars nibbling there a few weeks back.
    Fewer black swallowtails are flashing their wings in my garden. Many summers, all the leaves are eaten down to the stalk by the hungry white, black and yellow-stripped caterpillars that pupate black swallowtails. This summer, I’ve seen only one such caterpillar.
    But I have hopes for other caterpillars, other butterflies.
    My yard is one of many in Chesapeake Country hosting monarch gardens, planted with butterfly weed, black-eyed-Susans, bee balm and boneset plus milkweed, ironweed and Joe Pye weed. Day by day, the plants have grown. The black-eyed-Susans are blooming; and all of us butterfly gardeners are hoping for monarchs.
    The plants will sustain the long-distance flyers with nectar. The caterpillars produced by those butterflies will eat the milkweed. Milkweed is their one and only food. I cheer their rise, for the caterpillars that eat this milkweed are like the generation that will fly all the way to Mexico to begin next year’s repetition of the ancient flight of the monarchs. The annual migration from Mexico to Canada and back takes four generations.
    Monarchs usually reach our latitude in September, when I’m hoping my spring plantings will be ready to welcome them with flowers. Together, we butterfly gardeners are hoping for big returns, a regular irruption.
    Once you see an irruption of monarchs you’ll never forget it. My thrill came in September, 1970, when a swarm — called a kaleidoscope in the colorful language of groupings — crashed a backyard picnic in Springfield, Illinois.
    Since then, lost habitat, less milkweed and climate change have pushed the species toward extinction. The current migrating monarch population is as low as two percent of original levels.
    If you see an irruption, let me know: editor@bayweekly.com.

Sign on for the DataBay Reclaim the Bay Innovation Challenge

     It’s the irony of our modern technological society. For most of history, we have craved more facts, more data. We had no problem putting these data to good use as fast as we gathered them.
     In the last couple of decades, that situation has reversed. We now have much more data than we can possibly use. This holds true for the Bay, where data ranges from water samples collected by citizens to reports from orbiting satellites. Just one example: We have water quality data for the entire Chesapeake. You can go online and find maps showing the daily water temperature and clarity.
    The challenge is figuring out how to use all this data for positive change.
    Can more brains help?
    Bring motivated people with the right set of skills and experience together for a weekend of intense collaboration to develop innovative ideas. That’s the plan behind the DataBay Reclaim the Bay Innovation Challenge.
    “We want to get environmental scientists collaborating with information technology people to foster new ideas,” explains Mike Powell, chief innovation officer for Gov. Martin O’Malley. “Most people are one or the other. This is an opportunity to get the best from both.”
    Similar plans have worked in other places on other problems. An event last year led to the creation of Baltimore Decoded, which provides citizens with user-friendly web access to all Baltimore city laws.
    The Reclaim the Bay Innovation Challenge runs from Friday, August 1 through Sunday, August 3 at the Smithsonian Environmental Research Center in Edgewater. So far, some 50 IT pros and environmental scientists have signed on. There’s room for 50 more, including you.
    Bring a team or join one at the event. Together, you’ll generate ideas for using available data to restore the Bay and involve more people in that important work.
    On Sunday evening, teams will present their findings. Top-rated ideas win cash prizes and will be presented to O’Malley and a panel of entrepreneurs, investors and environmental scientists.
    Is this challenge for you? Learn more at: http://databay.splashthat.com.
    Curious about what types of Bay data are available? Answers at http://databay-data.splashthat.com.

Marshall Coffman’s martial ministry

     “You learn through both winning and losing,” says 70-year-old Marshall Coffman, who leads a double life.
    As the Reverend Dr. Coffman, he is associate pastor of the Christian Fellowship of Calvert County in Owings. As Sensei Coffman, he is head instructor of Budokan Judo Club at Northeast Community Center. Combining roles, he leads the Judo for Jesus ministry.
    This summer, Sensei Coffman earned the lofty rank of fifth-degree black belt.
    Gaining a first-degree black belt is a high honor coveted by many but achieved by only the most devoted. Rising to the fifth degree — a labor of 23-plus years for Coffman — demands not only technical ability but also sacrifice and devotion. Fewer than seven percent of Judo practitioners wear the red-and-black belt unique to this rank.
    As a 21-year-old U.S. Air Force communications technician, Coffman took advantage of his posting 30 miles from Tokyo to study judo with the renowned fifth-degree black belt Takehide Matsunaga. He learned while studying the ancient arts to teach others.
    From Japan to the Philippines to Colorado Springs to Andrews Airbase, he gained skill as he taught.
    In the Phillipines, he met his wife, Teresita Abellana Gadiana. They have two children, Felipe and Annette. The whole family has studied judo.
    By the time Coffman reached the Washington metropolitan area, he was a respected martial arts teacher.
     At 35, Coffman “felt the call” of a second, more demanding vocation: he devoted 12 years of night school to studying for the ministry. Studying while working at AT&T left no spare time.
    “Judo, I believed, was behind me,” he says. “God will sometimes ask you to give up something.”
    Coffman’s health also seemed lost. He suffered a heart attack, the crippling effects of Agent Orange in Vietnam, cancer and triple bypass surgery.
    As he recovered, he realized that poor physical health can damage a person’s spiritual health. In February 2004, he launched the Judo for Jesus Ministry at the Baptist Convention of Maryland and Delaware.
    That summer, the Judo for Jesus Ministry Team traveled nearly 3,000 miles, making gospel presentations in 21 churches with 375 new students professing their faith. The Judo for Jesus Ministry has since seen over 1,000 professions in faith.
    “Sometimes,” Coffman says, God gives what you gave back to you to use for His glory.”

Apes are as violent and stupid as humans in this sci-fi sequel

     It’s been a decade since chimpanzee Caesar (Andy Serkis: The Hobbit) freed the apes of San Francisco to seek sanctuary in the redwood forests across the bridge. Thanks to the animal testing Caesar and his crew endured, these apes are hyper-intelligent. They have hunting parties, schools for their young and their own form of Hammurabi’s code carved into their simian city. Their society prospers under the leadership of Caesar and his lieutenant Koba (Toby Kebbell: The Counselor).
    But the Alzheimer’s treatment drug that empowered Caesar and his fellow apes was toxic to humans. As Caeser and his subjects build their civilization high in the redwoods, humanity is wracked by the simian flu. Those who don’t succumb to the virus die in the riots and looting that follow.
    It’s been two years since any ape has encountered a human, and the simians are content that their former captors have slaughtered each other into extinction. So the apes are surprised when they come across humans wandering in their forest in search of a hydroelectric plant.
    Not as surprised as the humans, who panic and shoot one of the apes.
    Koba, who was scarred and abused by laboratory scientists, wants to murder the people. Caesar, who was raised by a loving scientist, believes that humans and apes can co-exist. In a show of mercy, he tells the humans to leave and never return.
    Shocked by talking apes, the humans skedaddle. But back in their survivors’ colony, they tell tales of loquacious simians. Surviving humanity divides into two camps: those who see the apes as possible allies in their quest to survive and those who want to destroy the monsters they blame for the outbreak of the simian flu.
    This reboot of the iconic sci-fi films has cleverly focused on the apes’ perspective, but it can’t escape poor plotting and ridiculous dialog. Ninety percent of the conflict could be solved if the characters (both ape and human) spent five minutes talking.
    Apes are powerful creatures who should be fearsome predators if gifted with extra brainpower. Instead, director Matt Reeves (Let Me In) films the simian equivalent of a Rambo movie, with Koba charging the human colony on horseback while firing two machine guns as fire blazes in the background. Reeves is attempting to make an iconic image, but what he creates is so ridiculous that some viewers snicker during the grand battle for the fate of the planet.
    With the ending forgone, Reeves must rely on the strength of his actors to give his audience reason to care. The apes — all created from live-action performances covered with computer-generated images — are a testament to technology and the actors behind it.
    Humans, however, lack even basic character development. They are divided into two groups: the violent bad guys who won’t listen and the wide-eyed good guys who blindly trust the apes.
    Though it features groundbreaking CGI and amazing leaps in motion-capture effects, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is a collection of missed opportunities. Without plot-driven tension or compelling performances from the homo sapiens, the film drags. With people like this, it’s hard not to root for the apes.

Fair Science Fiction • PG-13 • 130 mins.