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This isn’t your mother’s romantic comedy

Amy (Amy Schumer: Inside Amy Schumer) is living the dream. She has a spacious New York apartment, writes for a men’s magazine and goes home with a different guy every night.
    Amy learned from her father at an early age that monogamy doesn’t work. Her father, now in a nursing home, eggs Amy on in her rejection of relationships, domesticity and kids. He encourages her to make herself happy even at the expense of others. Amy mercilessly mocks her sister Kim (Brie Larson: The Gambler), for her focus on her family.
    Until a new writing assignment causes Amy to reevaluate her life. Her subject is Dr. Aaron Conners (Bill Hader: Inside Out) a sports surgeon with a long list of celebrity clients. After their night of sex, Aaron wants another date. Amy overrides her impulse to say no.
    Does love mean having to change who you are? Is monogamy possible for a free-thinking modern woman? Or is domesticity the trap Amy has always believed it to be?
    Filled with lewd jokes, uncomfortable situations and genuine laughs, Trainwreck is a romantic comedy for the cynical voice in the back of your mind. Schumer, who also wrote the film, has made a name for herself as a comedian unafraid to tackle sex, drugs and feminism. In her first starring role, Schumer crafts a comedy that examines modern feminism.
    With Trainwreck, Schumer isn’t proposing women necessarily settle down. She’s asking them to be sure they’re pursuing what they really want, be it children, a career or anonymous sex. It’s a heavy task for a romantic comedy, but Schumer manages.
    Helping her set the tone is veteran director Judd Apatow (This is 40). A master of wildly vulgar humor with a heart of gold, Apatow combines sexual innuendo and sincerity to craft a modern romantic comedy. Some of the sequences run too long, with Apatow pushing the joke further than it needs to go, but it’s fun to watch Schumer riff. Though Schumer is often the butt of the jokes, Apatow makes sure we don’t see her as stupid. She’s a flawed but funny woman trying to navigate uncharted waters.
    In essence playing the same character she affects for her standup show, Schumer shows real promise. It’s no surprise that she can nail the comic beats, but Trainwreck also requires some hard emotional work. Schumer attacks each moment with aplomb, creating a nuanced character we root for — even as we cringe at some of her decisions.
    Backing up Schumer is Saturday Night Live alumni Hader, who serves as the perfect foil. Aaron is sincere, while Amy is cynical. Both have been damaged by life, but each has reacted differently. Hader’s natural sweetness and hilarious reactions to Amy make his Aaron endearing.
    The biggest surprise in Trainwreck, however, is a breakout performance from basketball great LeBron James. Parodying himself, James acts as Aaron’s pal, a little overly invested in Aaron’s love life. As a Downton Abbey-obsessed, penny-pinching romantic who wants to make sure his buddy Aaron doesn’t get hurt, James gleefully skewers his own image.
    Trainwreck isn’t a typical romantic comedy. You may be turned off by its lewd humor, drug use and active sexuality. Still, Schumer and Apatow have created a sincere comedy about finding the courage to fall in love.

Good Comedy • R • 125 mins.

Reflections on heroes and superheroes

Mayhem at the Deale Library, I feared, on seeing the Batman logo on its window and remembering that stylized bat, projected by searchlight, was Gotham City’s cry for the superhero’s help.
    No, librarians explained. Anne Arundel and Calvert are among the Maryland libraries using the national theme Every Hero Has a Story to encourage kids to keep reading all summer long. Hence the bat logo and, hand-painted on the library door, the question Who’s your hero?
    Young readers at Calvert libraries enroll in the Hero Training Academy, reading books and making crafts that explore superpowers ranging from flying to super strength to mutation.
    We love our heroes.
    Summer’s blockbuster movies feature superheroes and super-antiheroes, from Ant Man to Mad Max and Furiosa to all the Avengers — Captain America, Black Widow, Thor, Hawkeye, Hulk and Iron Man. They follow on the heels of earlier releases real and fictional: the American Sniper to Unbroken Louis Zamperini to ­Katniss Everdeen to Birdman. Comic books and videogames aren’t big enough to hold our heroes. They need the full exposure of the big screen.
    In the realer world, Donald Trump may have shot down his hopes for the presidency by denying the heroism of Arizona senator and former presidential candidate John McCain because of the five and a half years the then Navy flyer spent in a Vietnamese prison camp.
    That’s heresy in post-9/11 America, where every soldier, all First Responders and their dogs, too, are heroes. In this startling new world, we need heroes to keep us safe.
    Where do you go to train your own hero? If you’re not a soldier, firefighter, officer of the law or nurse, reality television can be a stand-in, maybe even an inspiration.
    That’s the theme contributing writer Selene San Felice explores this week in Becoming a Ninja Warrior, her feature story about the quests — and training school — spun off from the NBC series American Ninja Warrior.
    Whether ninjas qualify as heroes, let alone superheroes — and in this office that’s debated — the guys San Felice introduces are transforming themselves much more energetically than, say, Superman. Clark Kent had only to duck into a phone booth and strip off his civilian clothes for his superpowers to emerge. What he claimed by birthright, other heroes have to suffer to achieve. Look at Hulk, for example, and Spiderman.
    Training as American Ninja Warriors in Marylander Tony Torres’ Alternative Routes gym, Sean Darling-Hammond and Chris DiGangi are grunting and shimmying for their goals.
    Which is what Torres wants. “I want them to fail, because I want them to know what failure does. Failure should push you to keep trying,” he explained.
    Synchronistically with her story, Free Will Astrologer Rob Brezsny quotes Nietzsche on what it takes to be a hero: “Simultaneously going to meet your highest suffering and your highest hope,” the philosopher wrote.
    Whether or not you’re a Virgo, that’s a good definition to keep in mind in these hero-wishful times.
    Meanwhile, you can enjoy Darling-Hammond and DiGangi’s vicarious sweat in this week’s paper and follow Darling-Hammond, if you’re so inspired, on American Ninja Warrior on August 10.

Sandra Olivetti Martin
Editor and publisher; editor@bayweekly.com

A waterspout may get you if you don’t watch out

I focused on drifting the edges of a Bay Bridge pier, where I was hoping a big rockfish would inhale the chunk of soft crab I was presenting below. Conditions ­couldn’t have been much better, with overcast skies and a slack tide. Then my cell phone buzzed.
    I cleared my line and fumbled with my shirt pocket. Finally, freeing the phone, I heard a familiar voice, my neighbor Capt. Frank Tuma, who was fishing a party just to the north of me.
    “Did you see the big waterspout behind you, just south of the bridge?” he queried. “It’s gone now, but for a few minutes I was afraid it was going to get you.”
    I turned and eyeballed the large, dark and menacing cumulus clouds poised low and close to my position.
    “I wasn’t looking in that direction.” I replied. “Maybe I should have been. Those clouds look like they could make bad things happen.”
    It turned out that some nine waterspouts had been sighted in the middle-Bay that morning. Though I had no close calls with a waterborne whirlwind, Candy Thomson, spokeswoman for Maryland Natural Resources Police, had been caught up in that nearby spout while on board a patrol boat.
    It is fortunate that nothing more serious than some brief, brisk winds and a short burst of intense rain descended on the police crew. That is sometimes not the case with these mini-tornados.

Their Rise; Your Retreat
    Waterspouts — dark, whirling funnel clouds descending from stormy skies — form in the Florida Keys more than any place in the world. But the spouts are fairly common from the Gulf of Mexico all the way up Chesapeake Bay.
    Fair-weather waterspouts, such as we experienced that day, are spawned by dark, flat-bottomed storm clouds traveling at low altitude. Typically these waterspouts dissipate before causing damage or injury. Tornadic waterspouts borne of severe weather conditions can be more violent.
    During the hot days of summer, fierce late-afternoon and evening squalls often erupt across the Bay. These small, violent storms are capable of producing more intense waterspouts. Winds have been clocked above 150 mph in ocean-borne tornadic versions, often accompanied by heavy seas, torrential rain, hail and intense lightning. They have sunk or damaged watercraft of all sizes. Violent water spouts are suspected to be the source of some of the mysterious accidents in the Devil’s Triangle off the Keys.
    The primary defense while on Bay waters is keeping an active weather channel open on your marine radio. The National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration and the U.S. Coast Guard broadcast alert warnings whenever and wherever waterspouts are sighted.
    Avoid a spout by heading at a 90-degree angle away from the direction of the funnel. Evasion might not be possible in poor visibility or if a water spout descends from overhead, as apparently happened to the Natural Resources Police crew. So it is wise to steer clear of any area where the mini-tornados are reported.

Billed as a smart and energetic musical comedy with a pop rock score and immensely likable story, this show delivers

With Baby, Infinity Theatre Company surpasses the high expectations raised over five years of bringing professional New York City productions to Annapolis each summer. This show delivers on its billing as a smart and energetic musical comedy with a pop rock score and immensely likable story. If you last saw it in the 20th century, you’re in for some surprises. The 1984 Tony-nominee was reworked in 1999 with new songs and significant plot twists that make it less idealistic than the original.
    Parenthood is an equal opportunity job — until it’s not. Thus, in a college town we have three diverse couples who all find at the same time that they are expecting. Two aren’t prepared, while one has been trying for years. You can guess which one is the false positive.
    Lizzie (Lauren Wright) and Danny (Nick DeVito) are undergraduate music majors who have just moved in together when they face the biggest decisions of their lives: to have or not to have it, to marry or not to marry. Arlene (Joy Hermalyn) and Alan (Erick Pinnick) are empty-nesters celebrating their 20th anniversary when she conceives during a champagne-fueled night of passion at The Plaza. Again the question arises: to have or not to have it? When she ultimately miscarries, there’s a new question: to remain or not to remain married? Then there are Pam (Erin Wegner Brooks) and Nick (Jon Reinhold), two athletic coaches who are desperate for a baby yet suffer the insult of infertility on the heels of her false alarm. For them the question becomes whether their marriage can endure the lack of a child.
    Chances are you don’t know the music yet, but you’ll leave humming three choruses: the driving feminist anthem I Want It All; the head-bopping Fatherhood Blues; and the hilarious Ladies Singing Their Song, featuring a Vaudevillian parade of intimate strangers who offer unsolicited advice and labor horror stories.
    Each song is memorable in the hands of this stellar cast. Wright’s The Story Goes On, a wondrous look at the cycle of life, will have you cheering. DeVito’s proposal, I Chose Right, will leave you breathless. Pinnick will make you laugh with recognition in Easier to Love, his wise juxtaposition of marital and paternal love. Hermalyn, who bears a striking resemblance to Bette Midler both vocally and physically, delivers a powerful and searching ballad, Patterns, about the many ways long-term marriages avert crisis with convention.    
    Hometown girl Wegner Brooks inspires hysterics and tears in her gymnastic song cycle Romance, segueing from romantic Tango to defeatist rant as she submits to the rules of love by the book. The voice you will yearn to hear more, from the first smooth jazz strains of Baby, Baby, Baby, is the rich baritone of Reinhold, a Robert Goulet for the new age. Equally unforgettable is his stirring duet with DeVito, At Night She Comes Home to Me.
    When is the right time to have a baby, to get married, to separate? These are the eternal questions. But in the end, it’s all about the couple, not the kids.
    As Lizzie collects teddies for the nursery, Pam collects teddies for the bedroom. Whichever you are, if you’ve ever experienced or pondered having a baby, this fabulous show will appeal to you.


Appropriate for ages 14 and above. Baby by Sybille Pearson, David Shire and Richard Maltby Jr. Directed by Igor Goldin. Musical director: Jeffrey Lodin. Set: Paul Tate de Poo III. Costumes: Tristan Raines. Lights: Jimmy Lawlor. Sound: Wes Shippee. Pit Band: Jeffrey Lodin, Laura Brady, Tom Harold and Ahren Buchheister. With Sam Hood Adrain, Alex Smith, Ana Marcu, Jacob Shipley and Emily Freeman.

Playing 2 & 7pm Th; 8pm Sa (and F July 31), 2pm Su, thru Aug 2. Children’s Theatre of Annapolis, 1661 Bay Head Rd.
$20-$36; rsvp: 877-501-8499; infinitytheatrecompany.com.

Highway medians become home to the birds, bees, butterflies

The tiniest employees of the Maryland State Highway Administration are hard at work while we sit in traffic. Glance out the window to see them buzzing about their daily routines. In exchange for their work, MSHA provides room and board — in the medians of state highways.
    Important work is happening in these often overlooked parcels of land: over 100 acres along Maryland highways are now wildlife habitat for pollinators.
    Medians along interstates and rural roads — places historically mowed and manicured — are now meadows of wildflowers, native grasses and perennials.
    “If we go back 20 years ago, we looked like golf courses,” says Highway spokesman Charlie Gischlar. Now, the medians provide beauty and habitat while fulfilling their original purpose of creating restful driving conditions and screening out oncoming headlight glare at night.
    In 2008, with the economy tanking and state agencies looking to tighten their budgets, highway planners asked biologists and landscapers for ideas. The Statewide Native Plants Establishment Program was born.
    “This program is a win-win situation between the built and the natural environment,” Gischlar says.
    “We realized we could stop mowing and save money.”
    The number of acres mowed went from 110,684 in 2005 to 51,751 in 2013, saving the cost of rising fuel.
    The second benefit is habitat for birds, bees, butterflies.
    Pollinators help the reproduction of 85 percent of the world’s flowering plants. And, according to the Xerces Society, nuts and seeds feed “25 percent of all birds and of mammals ranging from red-backed voles to grizzly bears.”
    Habitat loss is one of the top threats to our nation’s pollinators. The loss of bees and butterflies has a direct and dire impact on agriculture.
    “It’s actually pretty scary what’s happening to our honeybee population,” Gischlar says. “Colony collapse is a very serious issue.”
    While scientists study this mysterious disorder, bee populations continue to decline. Without a good mix of native plants, bees miss out on the proper nutrition from a variety of pollens. Restoring meadows with plants like butterfly weed, sunflowers, asters, coreopsis and black-eyed Susans is a vital component to giving honeybee colonies a chance to recover.
    Highway plantings make conditions favorable for these insects by reducing roadside mowing, using insects for vegetation control and creating meadows of nectar and pollen-producing native species.
    Invasive plants edging out the wildflowers that pollinators need are attacked along highways with a careful strategy of mowing and herbicide application. Two of those invasives, Canada thistle and Tree of Heaven, are notorious for choking out the natives.
    Elmer Dengler of Bowie has been following the plight of the monarch butterfly since he was 12 years old.
    “We need more Joe Pye weed and native goldenrods for these butterflies to survive,” Dengler says. “We need to encourage private landowners to work along with the highway departments to promote these native plants.”
    When monarchs find plants, egg-laying remains a risky business, Dengler says, due to a lot of unnecessary mowing.
    Along highways, however, some mowing is necessary “First and foremost,” Gischlar says, we have to maintain sight distance in critical areas, to protect drivers, cyclists and pedestrians.”
    Are efforts to bring back pollinators working?
    The outlook still looks grim, according to Chip Taylor, founder and director of MonarchWatch and an insect ecology professor at the University of Kansas.
    “Unfortunately,” he writes, “as of late July, it appears that the fall migration and the overwintering numbers will be similar to those seen last year. A substantial increase in the number of migrants and the area of the forests in Mexico occupied by overwintering monarchs is highly unlikely. I was expecting much better.”

A superhero a fraction the usual size delivers big laughs

Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) is an ex-con who wants to go straight. A burglar with a master’s degree in electrical engineering, he can’t even keep a job at Baskin-Robbins. Desperate to earn child support money so he can see his daughter, he reverts to crime one more time.
    But mysterious millionaire Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) isn’t the doddering old man he pretends to be. Pym is a genius who has invented a suit that allows its wearer to shrink to the size of an ant while becoming 50 times stronger and faster than a human. Hank offers Scott a job as Ant-Man to keep a protégé from weaponizing the Ant-Man suit.
    In the world of the Incredible Hulk, Spiderman and Iron Man, a shrinking suit isn’t very impressive. So instead of awe-inspiring, Ant-Man’s powers are laugh-inspiring.
    Rudd and director Peyton Reed find the laugh in each scene and quirk of the genre. Scott must learn to communicate with ants. A dramatic battle to the death takes place on a Thomas the Tank Engine train set. A ridiculous number of animals and people are vaporized into goo.
    Combining great writing, a charismatic performance from Rudd and some spectacularly funny action sequences, this is the best Marvel release since the fantastic Guardians of the Galaxy.

Great Action • PG-13 • 117 mins.

Little creatures look for a fearless leader in this fun comedy

Since the dawn of time, Minions have been looking for a master to serve. The yellow cylindrical beings are attracted to the baddies of the world and biologically compelled to assist them.
    But they’re terrible at the job.
    These yellow dunderheads have managed to cause catastrophes from the extinction of the dinosaurs to Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo. For their constant failures, they are expelled from society.
    In their icy cave, the Minions long for a new evil mastermind. In 1968, three leave the cave to realize their hope. They find Scarlett Overkill (voiced by Sandra Bullock: ­Gravity), the world’s first female supervillain. She’s ruthless, she’s stylish and she’s beautiful. The Minions are enthralled.
    To earn a spot on Scarlett’s payroll for the banana-like brethren, the Minions must complete a trial mission: Steal the queen of England’s crown.
    Clever and relentlessly silly, Minions is a family film that entertains all generations.
    The stars are the creatures who chatter gibberish and take in the world through wide Buster Keaton eyes, sweet of nature even as they try to be bad. These are not cruel or stupid creatures, and the film seems to cherish the innocent exuberance that often leads the Minions astray.
    Pierre Coffin (who also co-directs) has the unenviable job of providing a voice to the Minions, and though he doesn’t speak in comprehensible sentences, he manages to create three distinct personalities as well as a whole host of emotions.
    Bullock has a grand time as Scarlett, a brassy villain whose princess complex exacerbates her mood swings.
    Though their concept is fairly straight forward, directors Kyle Balda and Coffin find innovative ways to tell the story. The setting inspires a fantastic classic rock soundtrack that drives the action and will have adults tapping their toes. Minions also uses 3D technology in an interesting way. Coffin and Balda play with perception, having objects enter or leave frame in unexpected places. Scenes seem alive, and the 3D effect catches the audience off guard.
    Minions doesn’t have the depth or beauty of Pixar’s Inside Out, but profundity isn’t its thing. This is a movie for a bucket of popcorn and an escape from the summer heat. As children aren’t the only people in the seats, there are a few jokes to keep adults laughing as these little yellow henchmen bumble their way through London.

Good Animation • PG • 91 mins.

When water replaces air in the soil, plants die

If plants are wilting in your gardens despite all of the rain we have been having, it is due to a lack of oxygen in the soil. This is a bigger problem in heavy-loam soils than in sandy loam or loamy sands. Heavy soils become saturated with water faster than sandy soils because the pores are smaller and thus exclude all the air.
    The roots of plants need oxygen to function. We have received so much rain that air in the soil has been replaced by water. If the problem persists for more than a couple of weeks, there is a good possibility that root rot will kill plants. Under these conditions, it is not uncommon to harvest carrots with rotted taproots. Or to see tomato plants developing roots near the base of stems to replace the dying roots killed by excess water in the soil.
    The problem is worse in gardens that have been plowed and/or rototilled at the same depth year after year. Working the soil to the same depth once or twice each year causes a plow pan to form below the tilled or plowed layer. Plow pans are a compacted layer of soil that prevents the downward movement of both water and roots.
    Plow pan can occur in both sandy and heavy loam soil but happens more rapidly in heavy soils. To determine if your soil has plow pan, try pushing a half-inch-diameter piece of pipe or dowel into the soil. If you have plow-pan, you will most likely be able to force the pipe only six inches deep. In many instances, I have uncovered plow pans so dense that I was not able to penetrate them with my stainless steel auger.
    The problem can be solved by sub-soiling with a special tractor-mounted attachment, by double digging or by varying the depth of plowing or rototilling season to season.
    Sub-soilers are plow-like attachments that penetrate the soil to a depth of 18 to 24 inches, forcing the soil upward and fracturing the pan layer. Sub-soiling should be done when the soil is as dry as possible to maximize fracturing of the pan layer.
    If you spade the garden by hand, double digging means that when you first press your spade in the ground, you remove a spade full of soil and place it to one side, followed by removing another spade full of soil from the same hole. In other words, you are digging into the sub-soil, thus removing the pan layer, then blending it with the surface layer of soil.
    You can delay the formation of the plow pan by varying the depth that you plow or rototill. One year you plow or rototill at a depth of three inches, the next four inches, the next five inches and the next six inches before returning to a depth of three inches.


Share the Bounty

    Let others benefit from your gardening skills by contributing surplus fresh produce to local food banks or pantries. The Bay Gardener donates his surplus vegetables to SCAN Food Bank at St. James Episcopal Church on Rt. 2, which is open for those in need on Thursday and Saturday from 8am until noon.


Ask Dr. Gouin your questions at DR.FRGouin@gmail.com. Please include your name and address.

Rockfish crave spot, but in a pinch white perch will satisfy

I strained to keep my severely arced rod from touching the gunnel as I plunged the tip deep into the water. A large and powerful fish about 20 feet down was intent on crossing under my skiff. Had the line, humming from the tension, contacted the hull it would likely have snapped. On the other hand, if the stressed graphite rod banged the gunnel, it could shatter. I was doing my best to avoid either catastrophe.
    My partner in the bow was handling his own critical situation. He had also hung a big fish that was running deep, equally out of control. Things would soon get worse.

Our Shared Affliction
    Mike Fiore and I often planned to fish together, but either the weather or our work schedules had cancelled out each attempt. This time we hoped it would be different. It was, and in more ways than we had imagined.
    Mike and I work together at Angler’s and often exchange information on where the rockfish are hottest, the best new baits and the hangouts for white perch. I knew the 18-year-old was a skilled angler for his age and that he fished the same kind of gear I did, bait-casting tackle, an affliction not shared widely in the Chesapeake. We wanted to compare techniques.
    Finally we were both free on the same day. Meeting in the early morning, we acquired ice and a bag of bloodworms. We’d agreed that we wanted to live-line for stripers, a technique special to the tackle we both favored.
    The problem with our plan was the scarcity of small Norfolk spot, the number-one bait to live-line for stripers. Once on the water we ­couldn’t find spot the right size anywhere. But we did find some smaller white perch.
    We reasoned that if the rockfish had as much trouble as we did finding spot, the spikey white perch just might work. A sharp-spined, thick-scaled perch is a distant second choice, compared to spot, for predatory striped bass. But if they were hungry enough they should eat them.

Bait in the Water
    With barely enough whities for bait, we headed for the Eastern Shore around the area of the Sewer Pipe. Running well out into the Bay a few hundred yards north of the Bay Bridge,  the pipe is the outflow from a sewage processing plant on Kent Island. Protected by steeply piled rock for the entirety of its length, it creates underwater structure that is a magnet for marine life. That marine life often includes big rockfish.
    A small, tight school of fish below produced marks on my fish-finder that strongly indicated striped bass below. Dropping down a couple of wriggling perch, we lightly thumbed our spools, feeding out line and feeling the actions of the baitfish as they strained for the bottom.
    Within seconds, we’d had that double hookup. We kept the big rock separated as long as we could, but as we drew them close the inevitable happened: Our lines crossed. Mike was fishing braid and I mono, so the situation was dire. Under tension, the ultra-thin braid will slice through mono like soft butter.
    Luckily for us the fish were played out and docile. Though we had a line tangle to undo, both stripers (twins at 34 inches) were quickly netted and in the cooler. Over the next hour we then enjoyed another double header (both released as too big) and then two 26-inch singles to manage our last two keepers. (The daily individual limit for rockfish is two fish over 20 inches, only one of which can exceed 28 inches.)
    That day, white perch were on the rockfish menu and rockfish were on our own.

The capacity of herons

The discovery that a heron was plundering my catch solved the mystery but did not end my ­curiosity. There was more to be learned.
    Apparently, herons are quite intelligent and know an easy meal when they see it. Almost immediately, a pattern became evident. If I was on the dock to use the boat or to check the crab traps, heron was nowhere in sight. As soon as I picked up my fishing rod, the bird would appear from nowhere and wait about 10 feet down the dock for my catch. At first I fiercely protected my perch. But heron was persistent and cute, and I gave into temptation, tossing an occasional fish. Eventually the bird was getting my first fish. Neighbors kidded me about having a pet heron, and when I gave him a name — Harry the Heron — I knew they were right.
    Having heard stories about adopting wild animals, I checked on potential dangers.
    My wife agreed. She thought I should see a shrink.
    But it was the bird I worried about. Dave Brinker, the Maryland Department of Natural Resources bird expert, told me blue herons cause the biggest trouble for the state’s goldfish and koi farmers, who must protect their fish from these predators. The stately birds are not picky eaters.  “If they can catch it and subdue it, they will eat it,” Brinker said. “While we usually think of them eating fish, they will eat frogs and voles and even small muskrat.”
    I was amazed they could eat perch up to eight inches, but their bodies are designed to stretch. Perch are a favorite food because the fish’s shape is conducive to swallowing. Herons are smart enough to know what they can handle, and a bird choking on a meal is very rare.
    Brinker confirmed it was not a good idea to keep feeding Harry, but not for the reason I thought. Once a bird learns to fend for itself, it never forgets and can always go back to self-sufficiency. There are, however, other good reasons to avoid the practice. First, these are smart birds. Once they find an easy meal, they will stick around. This can be problematic at migration time. If Harry decided to stay for the winter, and it was a bad one, it could be hard for either of us to find him food, even if I’m willing to brave sub-zero temperatures to fish for a bird. The second is one’s neighbors. While mine think it’s cool to have a resident heron, not all would agree. Especially fish pond owners.
    I have to sever relations with Harry, and I will in a few weeks. We’ll both go cold turkey. I will stop fishing from my dock; he will have to catch his own dinner. I’m not sure which of us will suffer more.


To see the video of the solved the mystery, go to YouTube and enter Bay Weekly Newspaper Missing Fish Mystery Solved in the search box.